Poland's Voodoo Doll
by dyslexic-Carmie
Summary: Oneshot. Poland makes a voodoo doll of Lithuania.


Lithuania gave his friend a strange look. "That's never going to work."

"Shut up. I know what I'm doing." Poland rethreaded his needle. "I watched a whole special on this on the Discovery Channel."

"That was a special on moles." The Lithuanian frowned. "What does a voodoo doll have to do with that?"

The Polish man knotted the thread. "Okay, so maybe I didn't watch the full program."

"Of course," Lithuania mumbled to himself.

"But, I'm still onto something."

The Lithuanian looked at the doll. "Who is that supposed to be?"

Poland smiled. "Its you of course."

"What?"

"Liet, can't you recognize your own face?" The Polish man laughed.

"Why would you make a voo-"

Poland cut him off. "Well, it'll probably look more like you after I sew the eyes and hair on."

"I can't believe you would make a voodoo doll of me." Lithuania frowned at the incomplete doll.

"Liet, I'm going to need some of your hair."

"Excuse me?"

"My scissors are sitting on top of the sewing kit." Poland pointed to them.

"I'm not going to cut my hair."

Poland looked up from sewing one of the button eyes. "I don't need it right away. The hair comes after the eyes."

"Poland-"

The Polish man cut him off. "Speaking of eyes, do you like them?"

Lithuania frowned at the sequined blue buttons. "My eyes are green."

"These are prettier." Poland beamed. "One more eye, then I'm going to need a some of your hair."

The Lithuanian sighed and picked up the scissors. "I'm really not sure about this. Why do you need a voodoo doll of me, anyway?"

"I don't know." His friend laughed. "I just got this wild idea that I have to try."

"Why do all your crazy ideas involve me?"

Poland placed the second button in place. "I'm going to need some of your hair really soon."

Lithuania sighed. "Do you have to use my hair?"

"This doll would look freakishly ugly bald." Poland stabbed the needle through the first buttonhole. "And voodoo dolls need some hair, or some piece of clothing, or something from the person to work properly."

"Why does that person have to be me?"

His friend laughed as he pulled the needle through the second buttonhole. "Liet, its like so lame to go out and stalk somebody for a piece of hair."

"Why can't you just make a voodoo doll of yourself?"

Poland ignored him. "I'm going to need a piece of your hair really soon."

The Lithuania frowned. "I'm going to regret this later." He cut off a piece of a small part of his bangs.

The Polish man looked up from his doll. "Liet, that's so not enough."

"How much hair do you need?"

"Enough to keep this doll from looking like a toilet cleaner."

Lithuania cut off a larger amount of hair. "Why do I do these things for you?"

"Cause we're friends."

"Would you let me make a voodoo doll of you?"

"No, you would totally fail at that." Poland finished putting the second eye in place. "I'm going to need your hair now."

The Lithuanian handed it to him. "Hope that's enough."

"Fabulous." The Polish man smiled as he took the hair.

"So, what are you going to use this voodoo doll for?"

His friend ignored him. "Liet, your hair is like really oily and gross."

"Sorry."

"Go get me one of those hand sanitizer bottles in the bathroom. I want like the cherry scented one."

Lithuania stood up from his seat. "Which bathroom?"

"The upstairs one," Poland said without looking up from his sewing. "Oh, and my mouth is starting to get like really dry. Could you get some me a drink of water, or like something?"

"Sure." Lithuania left the living room.

* * *

><p>"Yay! You're back I was about to go get my water myself." Poland chuckled. "But, that would totally make you seem like a bad friend."<p>

"Uh... well here's your water and hand sanitizer." Lithuania frowned and handed him the items.

Poland smiled when he accepted them. "I like totally finished the voodoo doll of you."

"May I see it?"

His friend ignored him. "I'm hungry. Now would be a great time for you to treat me to dinner."

The Lithuanian sighed. His friend probably didn't care about the doll he made anymore. "Where would you like to go?"

"Surprise me." The Polish man smiled and rubbed some hand sanitizer on his hands.

"Uh, I guess that we could go to-"

"Liet, if you tell me it's not a surprise."

"Oh."

"I like have a craving for some Flaki." Poland grinned at the thought of some stew. "The good kind, like the restaurant across the street serves."

"Want me to take you there?"

"If you tell me, then it isn't a surprise."

* * *

><p>Lithuania frowned at his menu. He really wasn't that hungry. "Pol, would it bother you if don't order anything and just ate the Chleb?"<p>

"As long as you don't, like, touch my food its cool." Poland set his menu down. "So, Liet, what do want to do tomorrow?"

"I have a meeting with Belarus tomorrow."

"Cancel it," Poland grumbled. "She's so not hot."

"It's completely political. Our bosses just want to discuss-"

His friend cut him off. "You're like totally ditching me. That's like so not cool."

"I told you this at breakfast."

"Don't try to like justify your mistake." Poland huffed. "This really sucks."

"I told you about the meeting at breakfast."

"Whatever." Poland picked up his menu again. "I'll totally find something fabulous to do without you."

"I'm sorry that the meeting-"

"I like need comfort food." Poland looked at his menu. "Liet, you owe me some Sernik."

* * *

><p>Poland was feeling really depressed. Lithuania was at some stupid meeting with that not hot Belarus. And that just left him with nobody to watch reruns of Golden Girls with, nobody to color Disney coloring books with, nobody to watch The Little Mermaid with, nobody to do online shoe shopping with, nobody to eat junk food with, and nobody to buy him lunch. If Lithuania were really his friend he would have said, "Screw politics", and avoided the meeting and hanged out with him today.<p>

"Life totally sucks," Poland mumbled as he mindlessly walked around his house. "Life like really totally sucks."

Some friend that Lithuanian is. The Polish man had today completely planned out, and his best friend had to ruin it for him. Now what was he supposed to do? Watching The Little Mermaid by yourself is totally not fun.

"I'm so bored." Poland sighed as he mindlessly walked into his living room.

There really wasn't anything interesting in the living room. There was just a boring pink sofa, two boring pink chairs, a boring pink rug, a boring pink coffee table, and a boring pink-

"Voodoo doll." Poland smiled as he picked up his creation. "I like totally forgot that about you."

* * *

><p>It was almost too good to be true. Both Lithuania's a Belarus's bossed decided that since they known each other for a long time, and since that they were both countries that could probably find a agreement to this tiny problem, they could have the meeting without them. With no bosses, Lithuania was alone with Belarus. It was practically a date!<p>

Well, maybe not completely a date. They still needed to discuss the tiny political issue and find a simple agreement. But, that won't take long. And once they found the solution they could talk, share interests, see a movie, maybe get some ice cream after the movie, and do other stuff couples typically do on dates.

"Are you even listening to me?" Belarus asked interrupting Lithuania's pleasant daydream.

"I was listening. You were just told me...BAHAHA!" Lithuania cut himself off with a loud guffaw followed by a fit of laughter. It was like something was tickling him.

The Belarusian raised an eyebrow. "How is that funny?"

"Sorry...BAHAHA!" The Lithuanian quickly put a hand to his mouth embarrassed.

"I don't find this matter funny." She frowned while he kept laughing.

"It...it...really...isn't... funny..." Lithuania managed to say between bits of laughter. "BAHAHA!"

"If you're not going to keep this professional, then I'm just going to leave and tell my boss that we're going with my original proposal." She stood up.

His boss and dolphins would not like that. "Sorry...I'll try... to stay calm..." Lithuania managed to say without too much laughter.

Belarus sat back down. "Cut the laughing out."

"I...can't..." He really couldn't something was tickling him. As impossible as it sounds, something was tickling him making him laugh out loud like an idiot.

She stood back up. "Then this meeting is over."

"No wait!" He said it way too loud.

"Look, Lithuania, I have a schedule to follow. My boss wants to hear the answer to this issue today, and I want to have lunch with Russia," she scolded. "Listening to your stupid laughter is keeping those things from happening."

"BAHAHAHAHA!" Laughing was the worse thing for him to do, but he really couldn't help it. Something was making him laugh.

"I'm leaving." As she started to walk away the force that was making him laugh disappeared.

"Belarus..." Some force made him stand up robotically with his knees locking. "What the?"

"You're such a pointless-" Lithuania fell on top of her. "Get the hell off of me!"

"Sorry." The Lithuania tried to stand up but he couldn't.

"Get off of me!" the Belarusian repeated as she tried to push him off.

He couldn't some mystical force wasn't letting him. It was like something or someone was stepping on him a pushing him closer to the ground. "I'm trying."

"Like hell you are!"

Lithuania tried to move again. "Something is wrong with my legs."

"That's a bunch of crap," she spat struggling to move out from under him. The mystical force was pushing him really hard against her, making her struggles impossible to set her free. "Get the hell off of me! I bet you're enjoying this you sick pervert!"

Lithuania sighed. He would be lying if he didn't admit that there was some sort of pleasure to this misfortune. Being like this allowed him to look into Belarus's beautiful dark blue eyes...

"Stop looking at me like that!" the Belarusian yelled interrupting his daydream. "It's creeping me out. Get the hell off of me before you try any funny business."

"I would never try anything that would make you uncomfortable." This was the truth, but it was hard to say when his face was just inches away from hers.

"Then get the hell off of me!" She tried pushed him off again.

"I'm try-" The mystical force knocked his head down, destroying those few inches they had between faces, and making his lips collide with hers. Belarus's eyes went wide, and Lithuania's eyes closed.

Before he could enjoy it then mystical force forced him back to his feet.

"What the hell was that?" Belarus asked standing up from the floor.

"I'm sorry." He paused the lip encounter was unexpected. How cold he explain it? "Uh...some sort of mystical force is controlling me."

"Well, that's the stupidest most unoriginal lie I've ever heard." She took a knife out from her sleeve. "You kissed me on the lips!"

"I didn't..." If he said that he didn't want to, then he would be lying. "I'm not in control of myself."

"That's the stupidest excuse ever!" She darkened held out her knife. "Only big brother is allowed to kiss me on the lips!"

"I'm serious! Some mystical force is controlling me!" The mystical force began to make Lithuania jump up and down, pat his head, and rub his belly.

She lowed her knife. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I don't know," he said jumping up and down. "It's the mystical force it's making me do this."

"So, now you're trying to make believe that something is controlling you." She raised her knife ready to attack. "Well, your way of doing it has to the dumbest way possible."

"I'm serious!" He tried to make his body stop jumping.

"You're not even creative." She moved her knife closer to him. "Only big brother is allowed to kiss my lips."

"Belarus!" She tried to stab him but the mystical force punched him in the stomach causing him to bend over clinging it. "Ouch!" The knife went over his head touching only the top of his hair.

She pulled her knife away and frowned. "The knife didn't even touch you."

"Sorry," he wheezed. "I...think... the...wind just... got knocked...out... of...me."

"Weirdo." She crouched down to look him in the eye. "My knife still wants to satisfy my need for revenge."

He coughed. "Something... is... controlling... me."

She moved her knife between his eyes. "Nobody but Russia kisses me."

Belarus jousted the knife forward, but the mystical force pushed Lithuania backwards to fall on his butt. The knife only hit air this time.

"Stop it!" she ordered.

"BAHAHAHAHA!" The mystical force was making him laugh again.

"You're so irritating!" The Belarusian tried to stab the Lithuanian, but the mystical force deiced that now would be a great time to jump up.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed as he kept jumping up and down.

"Stop that! Stand freaking still like a normal person!" She tried to stab him again, but the time had come right for the Lithuanian to jump around the room. "You're so irritating!"

"I'm not...in control...BAHAHAHAHA... of myself!" he laughed while jumping around the table.

Belarus lunged at him again but Lithuania jumped up on top of the table. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm...trying...BAHAHAHAHA... to... control... myself!" He kept jumping.

Belarus got on the table. "Nobody kisses me, but big brother." She lunged her knife at him again.

This time Lithuania jumped over her. "BAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ugh!" She got off the table. "I give up! I'm just going to tell my boss that we went with my proposal. Expect something unpleasant in the mail."

"BAHAHAHAHA!" Lithuania continued to laugh as she walked out the door.

* * *

><p>"This has become, like, boring." Poland set his voodoo doll back down.<p>

The Polish man stood up. Now would be a good time to get some lunch. Lithuania's meeting should be over now. He'll give him a call to tell Lithuania that he's treating him to dinner.

Poland took out his phone a scrolled to his friend's number in his contacts. "Hey, Liet! How'd you're meeting like go?"

He didn't give Lithuania a change to respond. "Yeah, I don't care. You're treating me to dinner, right?"

Poland didn't let him answer. "Fabulous!"

The Polish man was about to hang up, but the Lithuanian said something to stop him. "Yeah, sure we can go to a place that serves Sernick."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**I just slayed a plot bunny. **

**Some culture mentioned in the story:**

**Flaki is a Polish beef or pork tripe stew with marjoram. Its common ingredients are beef tripe, beef, bay leaf, parsley, carrot, beef broth, and spices of taste like salt, black pepper, nutmeg, sweet paprika, and marjoram. I don't think it sounds that appetizing, but I can't really say anything until I try it. **

**Chleb is bread. Yum! **

**Sernick is a cheesecake. It's said to be one of the most popular desserts in Poland. I picked this dessert, because cheesecake is a comfort food. **

**Feel free to point out any grammar mistakes. I'll like to fix those. **


End file.
